Proper Manners Go A Long Way

I was at my friend's apartment the other evening for a lovely night of watching the Mets-Yankees contest and some fine cuisine. He currently resides with his lovely girlfriend whose company I enjoy as much as his. Which is a substantial amount. I like them both a lot is the point I'm trying to make. Now that I have made that point, I'm going to voice a complaint about them.

You see, they've been together for sometime now and yet, every time I'm around them, they feel the need to kiss and grope, oh, about every 25 seconds. And I'm not going to lie to you fine people, I don't feel all that comfortable around it. So this time I did what any rational person would do. I threatened to drop my pants an inch every time they smooched. They clearly thought I was bluffing but stopped kissing after my pants lowered about 4 inches and there was a possible "pube patch" sighting.

That being said, I really have no problem with kissing. I'm not a huge fan of PDAs but it is a free country and to each his own. Not only that, but they were making out in their own place of residence which would really qualify as a private display of affection but still a PDA by rationale of initials. After leaving them for the evening and thinking it over, I finally realized what bothered me so much about what had transpired.

I've always been a hospitable person. If you're a guest in my house, and I'm in the mood for a cold beverage, you can be sure you also will be offered a cold beverage. I'm such a good host that I would usually offer you any beverage of your choosing. If I knew in advance that you were coming, I would even go so far as to purchase what I thought was your favorite beverage in advance, just to be as hospitable as possible.

I guess what I'm saying is if you're a guest in my house, then my house is your house. I would expect the same from my friends. So if you know I'm coming over and you're going to be kissing all night, at least have someone there I can kiss all night. Or offer me the opportunity to make out with you or whomever you are making out with. I'm not even saying I would make out with either of you or the person(s) you had selected in advance for me. I'm just saying the offer would be nice.

Remember people, share the love.

P.S. - The man in question is Michael Burke. His girlfriend is Colleen whose last name I don't know but I assume will be Burke soon if Michael ever stops being such a total pussy and makes an honest woman out of her. I would totally make out with both of them.